ramadhan the 4th

4 years ago,
on the 4th of ramadhan,

while i was in maticulation centre in pj,
the final exam was just around the corner,

after performing fajr prayer,
at about 6 a.m
i got a phone call from my younger brother
who was in terengganu

he told me that my grandmother had just passed away

the moment my mother confirmed his news,
and repeated the same utterance,

i lost half of myself

which then took about months to recover
and to get full grip of myself back

the effect was so tremendous
that i never imagined how much it could have on me
since that was the first time in my life
i lost someone i love so much
in fact too much i love her
that it made me afraid to lose her
though i knew it will happen one day
no matter how much i wish to avoid it

whatever it is, 
in every tear, He is there